I will take a moment to stop
boring you with the minute details of my life to talk a little pop culture,
specifically the movie Sex and the City.
Have you seen it? If not, then
this post is spoilerific and I apologize but you have been warned.
I had wanted to see this
movie because I enjoyed the TV series and also, hello chick flick! I got a chance to see it with a bonafide new
female friend rather than see it alone or drag B to it and I think this is
definitely a movie to see with another woman unless your dude was into the
series and didn’t find it annoying and full of women he would never want to
meet like a certain man I am married to would say. I can only imagine the stuff B would have
whispered into my ear if I had seen it with him so I am glad I did not.
Also, I was intrigued
because I work with a woman in the UK who I have never met in person
and she had told me the week before I saw the movie that it had changed her
life. She said I needed to see it before
she would explain more.
Once I did, this is what she
emailed to me. I think it is interesting
to note that she is single and in her early 30s whereas I am married with child
in my late 30s.
Here’s what I think the film
was saying:
1- women are often if not
always the reason why the guy strays / cheats / leaves in the first place
e.g.
Miranda was too busy working
to satisfy Steve so he strays (its not all her fault!) Miranda caused Big to
get cold feet
Carrie wants a big wedding
and Big thinks she's a changed person (that one baffled me - I mean they were
together for 10 years!)
2- women will always take
back the guy regardless of what he did in the past
e.g.
Carrie taking Big back after
standing her up at the alter...knowing Vogue had published like a 10-page
spread. How selfish.
Miranda & Steve (does he
even have a JOB?)
3- independent,
successful-driven women who value building their lives will die alone, whereas
women with ambition to find a man & have babies (& nothing else) will
get everything.
e.g.
Samantha v's Charlotte
. Yeah we can all
marry a wealthy troll, but as soon as Samantha decided not to live her life
through Smith, she found herself half a decade old, and single. I know it was
her decision, but why couldn't Smith have insisted he give up his career in LA
& move to NY with her??!
I just felt like the whole
film was a little uncomfortable and suffocating in that I'm about the age the
girls were when they filmed the series. Back then they had fun, wanted
things...and 10-15 years later & they have nothing, or have had to give up
everything they wanted to be with a guy.
Its just a little sad
really, and at the time it did make me think – shall I just forget about
enjoying life & turn into a Charlotte
now?!
On a plus note, the unity of
friends is a great thing...and Samantha's
wardrobe & everything
about her was fab. Carrie was a little whiny & drab for me...and she's
usually my favourite.
Here is my emailed response
to her:
You know, it is so funny
because I came away from the movie without any of the perspective you had -
which I like by the way, because I like to get different perspectives on
things.
As for women being the
reason why the guy strays/cheats/ etc - I didn't really get that. I am not letting Steve off the hook but I
think he cheated because he was needy and weak and couldn't deal with the
realities of life with Miranda juggling work and motherhood. He knew he did wrong and he really wanted to
"fix" it but I also think that Miranda was wrong in the way she dealt
with him - sure she was angry and betrayed and who wouldn't be but to refuse to
talk with him about if for months and all but cut him out of her life? I mean, if you have a child together, you
need to at least try to talk after an obvious cooling off period.
He has a job, or at least he
did in the series, he owned a bar called Scout - co -owned it with Carrie's ex
Aiden.
I got the sense that Big was
overwhelmed with the wedding - he was embarrassed to be getting married for the
3rd time so publicly. I liked how he
immediately knew he was being stupid after freaking out and tried to explain it
to Carrie but she was too far gone to listen to her. I think that was all his fault in this
breakup and he actually knew that and kept trying to contact her.
Women will always take back
the guy - I can sort of see this from the movie, but I kind of understand
it. With Miranda and Steve they have a
child together and an almost 10 year history together. She didn't take him back easily and I thought
it was good they were in couple's counseling but at some point I guess, it is
better to be with the person and full communication and forgiveness than
without them.
I think Carrie took Big back
because she loved him and he had been trying to prove himself to her - and like
she said, they were happiest together before trying to live happily ever
after. She missed the happiness and
realized she didn't need to be married.
Independent,
successful-driven women who value building their lives will die alone, whereas
women with ambition to find a man & have babies (& nothing else) will
get everything.
This is interesting because
when the show was first on I used to watch it with a different eye than I use
to watch it now. They show reruns of the
show constantly on a local channel and I am always wondering how all these
women are so obsessed with men and relationships - all of them. But, then I realized that I have been with my
husband all through my late 20s and 30s (I am 38 now) so I don't have that
perspective of the single woman looking for love.
I thought the movie was actually
better than the series in that regards because it focused a lot more on
friendship and being there for each other.
I think Samantha would still decide against Smith even if he did quit
and move to NYC, she just didn't like "relationship Samantha" - she
liked herself so much more as the single woman.
I also think Charlotte truly loves
Harry. In the series she starts out
thinking he is ugly but they he grows on her and is a lot better to her than
all the other good looking guys she dated and she seemed actually truly happy. Also, she is the only one who doesn't work out
of the home.
Miranda, Carrie, and
Samantha are all successful in their jobs and love their careers, which is
great and I think they all made choices in their relationships. Samantha chose not to have one when she could
have stayed with Smith easily, Miranda chose to move forward with Steve because
she loves him and has a history/child with him, and Carrie chose to get back
with Big because she is happier with him than without - but all 3 still have
careers.
In the series, I never
identified with any of them really but I guess in the movie, I can see Miranda
more because being with someone for 10+ years and having a kid and juggling
work and parenthood and wifehood - it is not easy in the least. But I wouldn't trade it for anything (well,
I'd give up the job if I could win the lottery :-))
Oh well, I guess I just
think that in some ways the movie is oddly realistic in that relationships take
work, sometimes things don't go as planned, but in the end we chose to be with
the people we want to be with for different reasons.
So I ask you dear reader,
what did you think of the movie and how do you think your life and experiences
altered your perspective?