Another reason I love my husband

B is an avid "board game geek" so much so that he is active on a website of the same name.  Usually they talk about games and arrange trades but occasionally there is discussion outside the board game topic.  One such discussion started around the "gay agenda" which really touched a nerve as you can imagine.

B was up early and saw this and got his hackles raised and posted.  He said a lot in his post, but this is the part that stuck with me:

My son is 14 months now. He's just on the cusp of being able to walk on his own. He's the happiest kid I've ever seen in my life, even among other people's kids. He laughs at everything, and when his entire face breaks out into his toothy smile it melts my heart.

He loves butterflies and flowers, so far. He loves his toys (just like Daddy, I guess.) He also loves it when I make spider motions with my hands to tickle him.

I love my son, and it's pretty easy to see that he loves me too.

Why would I not provide every opportunity I possibly could to bring him up healthy, happy and at ease with the world? If he turns out to be gay, why should he have it more difficult than if he turns out to be straight? I'll ask it again, because it's important: why should it be more difficult for him if he's gay?

More to the point, why *is* it more difficult for gay people? And why would you blame a gay person for trying to gain an equal footing with a straight person? And why would you think your values are under attack when you're living your values at the direct expense of someone else?

We recently saw the movie V for Vendetta, in it there was a scene when a woman tells her parents she is gay and they kick her out and throw out a framed picture of her as a newborn, sleeping in a blanket and fresh from the hospital.  It was a tough moment for us to take as an audience and as new parents.  The fact that some parents still do disown their kids for being gay is beyond me.  I know I would still feel this way even if I did not have a gay sibling.

Needless to say, I am so glad I found B and that he is my husband and father of my child.  We are in good hands, geeky and goofy though they may be.

Comments

[bri]

One of the extremely surreal things about the whole thread was that the "gay agenda" guy actually used the phrase "completely inappropriate flamboyancy".

In context, this phrase is very sad and indicative of a lot of things, but taken out of context I find it hilarious.

I think the world could use a lot of completely inappropriate flamboyancy, frankly.

[Scott]

I never would have thought that a board game geek list would be a place for homophobia to raise its ugly head. But yah to Brian! You married a great guy, sis. And you're great too. :-)

And yes, I've heard great things about V for Vendetta and need to get out and see that one.

[Suzanne]

Great post. My wedding day was, along with Sonya's birth, one of the happiest days of my life. In the middle of the reception I looked around at all my friends and family and wondered how anyone would want to deny the right for a big party just celebrate you and your honey to anyone else. [My boss, who's gay, kept asking me what the point was. "It's the presents, huh?" she'd pester me. "That's it, right? You can tell me."]

If there is a gay agenda, I secretly hope it involves better fashion and more musical theatre, but for purely selfish reasons.

[depressionista]

I completely agree with B. In fact, I've discussed with friends and family how part of me really kind of hopes my son turns out to be gay because, based on my own personal interactions with gay men as well as, I admit it, prevailing stereotypes, most seem to have really good relationships with their mothers. I joke that it would be great because we could enjoy shopping together and talking about things like window treatments.

My son has trucks and cars as well as a doll we call "Baby" that he loves on all the time. He has "male" toys like a racetrack, "gender neutral" toys, and "female" toys like a broom and dustpan. We just want him to have fun and learn, without any bias or "pushing" in one direction or the other.

I want my child to be loving, happy, well-adjusted and successful in his pursuits. Sexual orientation doesn't -- and shouldn't -- factor into that at all.

[bri]

Scott: *any* public forum on teh internets, no matter how small or specialized, is a place where political discussions will come to the fore every so often. And there, unfortunately, will also be yahoos who haven't gotten over their Total Gay Panic or Religious Daddy Issues quite yet.

I also don't hope LM turns out to be one way or the other. I just hope he's brilliant and above all, well-adjusted and happy.