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July 21, 2013

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Shannon-from-old-job

So I wrote a LONG comment to this and decided it was too self-centered to go here and posted it to my own damn blog. ;)

Long story short, you are not insensitive. Every family is different and it's just how it goes. I'm bitter that my mother-in-law never got meet her grandson, and of course because I waited so long to have him, he may not get to spend as many years with his grandparents as I did with mine.

but you shouldn't feel terrible about it because it's a personal thing. You can feel badly for the person who lost a loved one and wish them peace in their grieving. I don't know the politically correct way to phrase this, but it kinda feels like to me a similar issue with TV shows or music or movies or whatever. Oh, you hated that episode of Mad Men? Sorry to hear that. (I don't care about that show but I'm sorry that you're experiencing a negative emotion because of it.) Doesn't make you a bad person for not liking that show. ;)

not sure if any of this makes sense, but it's posted with positive intention. ;)

Melissa

I love Post Secret too! I always wish there were more.

I understand how you feel. Most people's grandparents got 20 or 30 years more than your mom did, which is totally unfair. And yeah, I guess it would be more devastating if you had really wonderful grandparents.

As long as you're not saying these things to the grieving grandchildren, which I'm sure you're not, you're all good.

K

I was just talking to my sister about how shockingly and horribly insensitive I am when people tell me of a loved one dying. Especially if the person lived into their 80s or later, because even when the person is objectively old, everyone usually acts like they were taken too soon. Like you, I always try to say the right things, but inside I think, "man, you want to play the, ' it's so sad my ______ died so young game?' Honey, you brought a knife to a gun fight."

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