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January 30, 2009

Comments

Jen Lee

Oh, man, I remember those days. Once I figured out the trigger foods I felt like my baby changed personalities entirely. Who is this happy, sweet, content child? But it took lots of trial and error to get there, because it was multiple foods she was sensitive to and I wasn't eliminating them at the same time. I was dairy-free, then I also had to take out corn. I can't remember now if there was anything else (I stopped eating beans, too, perhaps). I've had friends who couldn't eat tomatoes while nursing.

I know it's enough to drive you over the edge in the meantime (quiet, PLEASE!). Hang in there--someday you'll have a happy little babe and you'll be brushing cobwebs off your memories of this time.

Lisa M

Got this link through Twitter friend. I SO sorry you are going through this. I went through something similar with my two babies. Was heart wrenching. My youngest was also in a lot of pain. Can you see a specialist? (Meds didn't work for us either!)

Candace

Okay, first, this will pass. Promise.

Second, it is not your fault. I swear. Personally, I find it is easier to eal with the crying if I know it isn't my fault.

All babies cry more between 3 weeks to a peak at 8 weeks and then it calms by 12 weeks.

Now this is all relative. My first was a colic nightmare--DH was deployed, baby had a heart condition, I was thousands of miles from family, etc. My second is a dream baby.

A few things.

Colic is a description, not a condition. So it just means your baby cries a lot.

Some babies with colic have GERD or another medical condition, some are just easily stimulated and overwhelmed, and some are both.

MOST of the time, there is NO problem with your milk. So, you can keep eliminating things from your diet if it makes you feel better, but you won't know until two weeks and then you have to reintroduce to know for sure. But generally that isn't an issue so I would just start drinking milk again, IMO.

With my girl, she had colic, which we eliminated by:

* Making sure she was napping enough; I didn't realize babies wouldn't just sleep when they need to. You have to soothe them at the first sign of sleepiness and that should be no more than two hours of wakefulness.

* Babywearing, lots of it.

* Swaddling (miracle blanket), white noise, tricking her into taking the pacifier, swinging

* Distracting her with baby massage and walks

* Having a set nap and bedtime routine

This helped me survive until her crying pretty much stopped at 12 weeks.

EXCEPT, she also had GERD. She would still cry after feedings. I fed from just one breast two feedings in a row (so, for example, left for two feedings, then just right for two feedings). Did more upright and smaller, more frequent feedings. Finally, Xantac did it. It was instantaneous improvement. I took her off of it, crying and arching came back.

So, try lots of babywearing and soothing and see if that helps. Know that it will get better. If it seems to happen only 30min or so after feedings, then ask your doctor to see if it is a reflux problem.

Good luck. Get someone to give you a break if possible. And hold on. There is a light at the end of this tunnel.

Jill

I have a soy allergy and soy lecithin is fine for me, so do some research before you eliminate all things soy. I think it would be a good thing to try, but the allergen that bothers most people isn't present once it has gone through a certain processing.

Hope you get some relief.

Shorty

Delurking a bit to provide some internet supportin' (for what it's worth). I feel so badly for you! I really do, it's just awful. Everyone promises me lightning can't strike twice and that my next will be easier than the first, who screamed for basically a year straight. I know what you're going through and even had the magic boobies, too (damn them!) and it's just plain old sucky.

I did all that allergy stuff and never helped a damn bit. My LM was just fussy and refluxy. Don't give up on the reflux meds, though, that did turn out to help a lot as he got older and he's still on them (almost 2!). They have a cumulative effect and after a couple of weeks consistently taking them they do kick in more. If you see no improvement with them ask for something different to try!!!

Good luck, hang in there, wish we knew each other so I could come pace w/ A in babybjorn for you for a couplahours. Can your parents come help for a couple of days so you can get some sanity???

rose

(HUGS) I know it seems crazy right now but it will get better. We went through something similar with our first. She basically lived on my chest in the beginning. It turned out she was allergic to corn and maybe soy. It took till 18 months to figure out the corn.

I'm currently doing an elimination diet with my 5 month old because something was making her sick. (Thank goodness so far not like the first time!) Having done it once before it's a lot easier this time around. If you want please send me an email and I'm happy to provide detailed support and suggestions. I know I wish I had that the first time!

For starters some things to look at:

- Write a tracking journal. Include everything that goes into your mouth or hers. Including meds, vitamins, formula, pumped milk from a previous date, etc. Also track sleep, poop, fussiness and any other symptoms you see. The key for this is if some days things are worse you can look back over the last 24 hours and see if there is a pattern. That can help pin point a culprit without cutting everything.

- If you are still using formula to supplement look at what type. It could be introducing dairy, soy, corn, etc.

- Keep track of your weight to make sure you aren't dropping too fast if you do any elimination.

- Have a big stash of safe food on hand so you are never left either starving or breaking and eating something you shouldn't.

- Look for a mother's helper, house cleaner, anyone who can help out. You might be able to get a teenager for $5/h who could at least walk in circles with the baby while you slept.

(HUGS) Please do email me. I've gotten very good at finding hidden sources of allergens and am much better at elimination diets. (Currently eating a "burrito" with brown rice, fish, avocado, cucumber and rice tortilla.)

Chickenpig

Oh no :( If you are still supplementing do look into the formula, as well as the bottle and nipple type. Sadly, I really don't think your milk is the culprit. Once babies get into the screaming crying they are actually swallowing a lot of air, so a good deal of the gas and discomfort is caused by the screaming itself...which then causes them to swallow more air which gives them gas...and so on. My aunt taught me a trick, which she swears helped her with my cousin. It helped me somewhat. Hold the baby on your lap with her back to you, make yourself comfy and lean back at an angle, rub the baby's naked tummy using massage oil or mineral oil in a COUNTER CLOCKWISE position (don't ask me why it has to be counter clockwise...I cheated and did it both ways ;) It calmed Nathan down some, and helped him to poop and fart. The cradle hold where you put the baby over your arm facing your elbow while you pat her back can get you some quiet too. Also, if you can, get her to suck a binky. Anytime she spends being quiet and/or sucking something other than air will buy you more quiet time. My magic solution (as you know) was the swing, my mom's was swaddling my bro and putting him on the dryer while she was drying something. My friends drove their son around until he passed out. I hope you come up with something that can help you. I totally feel your pain.

bon

Holy crap, I think I can just officially shut up about my "sleep deprivation" now. I have nothing to offer except for the completely anecdotal info about my neice who's situation was changed by a cranial-facial holistic ooga-booga doctor. One day she's a screamer, the next she is pleasant ever after. Take that with an entire carton of salt, but I saw it happen.

Melissa

Oh man. Here are some things we did with Boo:

- Near-constant sling wearing.
- Bouncing on an exercise ball, usually while wearing him in the sling.
- Having him sleep on a reflux pillow. I gave mine away but I can check if the person I gave it to still has it. Otherwise you can get them here: http://www.colicshop.com/ar-pillow.shtml
- Drugs. I think I mentioned before that we had to adjust his reflux meds before we saw any results. Here is a page that talks about the different types of medicines: http://www.marci-kids.com/medications.html.
- Elimination diet. I know you're already doing this (and I think soy lecithin is safe btw), but have you tried the hypoallergenic formulas? A lot of formulas have corn and that was one of the things Boo reacted to the worst. Eventually we tried the hippie soy formula (corn-free) and he was fine with that, so that helped too.

Just so you know, none of the above was a slam dunk improvement. He still cried a lot, but every little bit of improvement helped.

I'm so sorry. I wish we could all descend on you and take turns so you and B could get some rest.

Carrie

Oh wow, do I remember what you are going through. I disagree that you should start up dairy again. It's possible that the problem is more than dairy, and it doesn't have to be a full blown allergy to cause problems. I hear this all the time at work, and it really does make a difference if it is the problem and you can nail it down. It is true that it might not be, but you won't know until you try. It's not forever that you will eat like this.

The tummy rub helps. The direction matters because you are helping the gas move through the colon and out of the body, so you have to follow the direction you want it to go. You can face her and rub gently (really, just about the weight of your hands)from her lower left abdomen up and around to the lower right in an upside-down U shape.

The first reflux meds they put the baby on are usually very mild, so they might not work well, and they'll try something else when you go to the doctor again. I don't know if I told you this before or not, but my pediatrician said it's ok to give the baby 1/8 tsp of Maalox or Mylanta if you think she's having that pain. It might not stop the crying right away, but if the pain is gone then it's just a matter of helping her calm down. Put her in an upright position in a sling with her knees up at her belly.
Have B. carry her in this position, with her head on her chest--the vibrations from his voice in his chest are stronger because his voice is deeper, and she can hear his heartbeat too, and it will help calm her down if she's having trouble.

I remember how hard this was. So very frustrating to feel like you can't help your baby and it seems like it will never end. It really does help when it is your turn to be off-duty to get out of earshot, however you can. You are doing a really wonderful job, to be trying so many things and be so devoted to helping her. You'll get through this :-)

Deborah

Both of my children did this when they were babies. Fifteen years later, I learn that we are all suffering from multiple food sensitivities: gluten, dairy, soy, legumes, and eggs. Life is so much better for us all now without those antigens, and I think often of how much better it would have been then, too, if I had only known!

em

(((hugs)))

i wish i had some wonderful advice to give you or a magical cure... i hope it gets better soon...

emxx

Julie

hugs mer!! i can't offer any better advice than what has already been offered...

i hope you can all get a bit of quiet soon! it is so hard on all of you!

dina

In a few (short) months from now, we are going to read an updated post where you say something like, "Wow. Little Miss Thing is SO quiet. She's sleeping almost all night. I'm loving this little girl. And I'm ready for some really good sex now."

Promise.

Meredith

Thank you all for your comments! I don't know who posted me to twitter (I suspect Jessica of It's My Life) but I appreciate all thenew folks who came over to lend me your expertise!! One day I guess I will check twitter out for myself.

Jen Lee - I hadn't given up corn yet. I am going to try to do that and see how it goes. I am really sick of the whole adjusting my diet thing, one thing the new folks might not know is I am not dedicated to breast feeding so I am on a thin ice between switching all the way to formula. I will give this another month with the no corn and see how it goes!

Lisa M - We see the ped this coming Monday so I am going to ask about specialists. We had a similar problem with my son, but he was mostly formula fed and we switched to a hypo-a formula around this time with him and did see a specialist who said it was colic and then soon after it stopped.

Candace - Thanks for all the support! I am not a babywearer though I am trying. I got a sling and have been trying to use it but she cries even more in it. I tried the bjorn too and that was also a screamfest. I just ordered a moby wrap because it looks like it holds the baby in the position that she tends to be able to sleep in (on my chest).

Jill - thanks for the info on soy lechithin - seriously, every label I read has it in it!

Shorty - Thanks for the support and advice! I am being told by a lot of people to try prilosec instead of xantac so we are going to ask about that at the next doc appt which is Monday. I am not liking your "screamed for a year" comment. :-( I am sorry you went through that and begging for me not to go through that!

Rose - thank you! I am going to send you a separate email because seriously, what are safe foods? What can I possibly eat? I did check the formula, it has both corn and soy, I orderd a hypo-a one that is supposed to come today and will check the label on that one too.

Chickenpig - I tried that counter clockwise thing - no dice. I tried some moves I learned taking LM to infant massage when he was a baby, so far nothing. Yuck. I did get her to sleep on my chest for an hour after breast feeding and then successfully got her int the swing and she has been asleep in the swing for almost 30 minutes now - I am begging for another 30 before the magic boobs have to come out again!

Bon - Yes, your sleep deprivation pales in comparison to my horror! Just kidding, you have 4 kids, I would die. seriously.

Melissa - thanks for all the links! I should get the hypo-a formula today so I am hoping there is no corn or soy in it. Chickenpig sent me a sling but everytime I put A in it, screaming commences, I keep trying to watch the video on how to use the sling correctly to make sure I am doing it right. I broke down and ordered a moby wrap because a woman I know here has one and can at least teach me if I can't figure it out myself.

Carrie - Thank you so much for all the advice and encouragement! There are days or moments in days when I know we will get out of this ok, other times, I don't think so.

Deborah - eggs? Can you eat things baked with eggs or does everything have to be egg free?

Em/Julie - thanks for the support!

Dina - well at least one of us thinks so!


Meredith

got 20 mintues out of the swing after the hour on the chest. Screaming now - off I go.

Melissa

I'm also going to send you the Ergo as soon as I find the infant insert.

Shorty

couple of other ideas for quiet: bouncy seat on top of the dryer, running water right next to baby's ear (sorry, environmentalists), very loud shhhhhhhhhhshing in the ear, while walking and bouncing, so loud I felt like I was going to deafen him (but it made him quiet) and a baby einstein DVD while swinging, when all else would fail.

Rose

Who me? Post something on Twitter? Never! (;-)) What can I say, my twitter friends always come through when I need help, I was hopeful that they could offer some words of advice or at least sympathy!

I'm crossing my fingers that you'll find the magic solution sooner rather than later! Sending you soothing sleepy vibes.

Clare

It WILL stop. Your main job is to stay alive until then. I can't offer any advice on taboo foods. My guess is that it's not going to make much difference, if any. It sounds like classic colic for which the main cure is time. Friends w/colicky babies swore that belly time helped. Valium might help (you, not her), but that's not given to moms these days, I suppose.

As other commenters have said, try to get spelled whenever possible. Seriously, your job is to make it out alive. Hang in there. LM was worth it, right? So will this one be too! Sympathetically, Clare

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